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I had actually read this book before a few years ao. There is no doubt in my mind that Hornbacher is an incredibly gifted writer and the fact that she wrote this book at such a young age is testament to this. Now with two other books to her name, both of which I have read I thought I'd read this one again.
Wasted documents Hornbacher's descent into bulimia as a child and her struggle to gain some control over her behaviours which flip-flop between anorexia and bulimia. She gives a unique insight into the life of someone whose life is governed by starvation, binging, purging and a battle with her own mind that never seems to end. Hornbacher was offered an ultimatum when she entered hospital: continue to die or accept the help she so desperately needed and learn to live. She chose the latter and we get the impression in the opening pages of this book that she has remained relatively healthy ever since.
I do have a couple of complaints about this book. Firstly, she constantly documents her weight at different stages throughout her illness. This struck a note of competition that is often seen between eating disordered patients. It could be argued that this reflects her mindset at different stages throughout the book. That is, her mind revolves aorund the number she sees on the scale. However, these numbers could be incredibly triggering for anyone with an eating disorder who reads the book. It also focuses on weiht as a measure of the seriousness of her eating disorder, which while seemingly logical is not necessarily helpful.
I have read two other of Hornbacher's books: one is another memoir about her diagnosis of Type I (rapid cycle) Bipolar disorder and the other is a fictional book about grief. Both were more maturely written than this one was and it seems her writing is only improving.
I look forward to her next book.
I found out about this book through a forum I go on (called We Bite Back) which is focused on recovery from eating disorders, stabbing back at the amount of forums there are devoted to getting sicker (otherwise known as 'pro-ana' or 'pro-mia' forums). The young woman who wrote this book is a member of We Bite Back and need I say it, a rising young talent in the world of literature. Astoundingly she was only 18 when she decided to write this book, after coming back from a deadly battle with anorexia.
Many parts of the book were written while she was still recovering, I found it amazing that one suffering so young could have such a self-awareness about what she was going through and such a determination to make it through. The writing is beautiful, at times very sad, but a chronicle of one who did not want to waste her intelligence. There are no weights mentioned in this book, which I found very helpful when comparing it to a book like Wasted by Marya Hornbacher where the mention of weights can often send people back into the scuttles of an eating disorder, or worse give them ideas about the weight they have to be to be classified as 'really sick.' She mentioned Hornbacher's book several times, even once saying it triggered her into bad behaviours but she found the resources on recovery helpful. The thoughts abundant in this book at many times reminded me of my own thoughts, that I'm not serious enough, sick enough, not perfect enough but it also displays how the gradual thoughts of anorexia can lead to an eating away of the brain, dropping marks, further antisocial behaviour and suicidal thoughts. In the case of Lucy, her dreams through High School of getting top HSC (Australian school leaving certificate) marks were dashed when her battle took its toll on her. Despite this, she still somehow amazingly managed to pass and give a final speech at the end of her years of school about why it's worth it to keep on battling.
This writer obviously has an immense talent, a great understanding of her illness and an acutely rational mind that carried her through. The book explored firstly her fall into the disorder, secondly 'the grey' or the beginnings of therapy and recovery and thirdly 'the light' or what most people call a sort of click. The realisation of the want to recover and the strenuous path to doing so. I would have liked it had there been a little more in the 'light' section as I saw this as the most important of the book and the hardest state to attain, it also only made up a very short space of the book and I think the other parts outweighed it. More journal entries from this time would have been helpful to show the new lease on life she discovered. Although this book which is made up of journal entries and memories is quite haphazard and at times extremely sad, it mostly managed to avoid being triggering, the lack of weights being especially important. It also focused on how the more well she got, the more she was able to do. It mentioned foods she enjoyed eating and things she found helpful doing while remaining in her individual literary style.
I can't wait for this writer to mature, finish her law and arts degrees and create her best works, when she does I think the results will be amazing.
